Week 9: I'll be there for you... (Prizes for the first to get what the title this week refers to...)

Baby Freshers Week
One of the things I wasn’t expecting when I decided that dropping a sprog was the next logical step, was the back to school kind of feeling that overwhelms me everytime I go to a new baby group. It is that slightly manic, desperate feeling that I last felt during freshers week at uni. It’s kind of like this: LIKE ME! PLEASE LIKE ME!

When you are stuck at home all day going mad, talking to yourself, humming the tunes from the Fisher Price toy, changing nappies, preparing for another feed, etc, etc, you need to know people who are going through the same thing. Sometimes you need to just be able to vent and for someone to say ‘I know! I totally agree!’, so it is imperative that you make some friends at baby groups, NCT or some other similar occasion.

It is similar to that first week at uni, in that you very quickly learn who will be a friend, and who to avoid. For all you prospective mums out there, here is the checklist… and for all of you who have done this already, hopefully you will all agree with me and say loudly, and as one ‘I know! I totally agree!’

1) If their first question concerned with what your baby can do (i.e. Little Jemima is already crawling, what is little CK doing?) then they will probably be posting Jemima’s report on Facebook in a few years time for all to admire. Steer clear.
2) If they tell you how beautiful their own child is before looking at yours, they are probably to be avoided.
3) Do they seem like the kind of person who you could discuss the new geography of your nether regions with? If so, they are a keeper.
4) Are they already skinny? Probably sack them off. Especially if they offer you hints on how to shift the baby weight. What baby weight? I shifted that months ago. This is just weight.
5) Do they seem repulsed by the streaks of pureed pear which adorn your sweater? Jog on. Anyone who can’t see the potential of wearing your snacks for later ain’t worth knowing.
6) Do they offer their number and a sympathetic smile? That’s a good ‘un. If they make you laugh at the horror of it all, then make sure you get that number straight away, put it in your phone, and use it.

The Mummatron

Friends
When my children were little my friends came in all shapes and sizes but they all had one thing in common – children that my children liked to play with. We all needed support, someone to go to when the afternoon was simply too long and fraught to face on your own or when you needed someone to look after one child whilst you took the other to the doctors/school/hospital. Most of these friends have faded into the past as we have moved house many times, but my memories of them are very fond. Friends in need and indeed.

Now we have a handful of friends who are a bit older than us, a couple of them we have known for over forty years and they have all been grandparents for quite a few years now. Eight of us regularly have long lazy lunches together and talk about every subject under the sun but I have always been surprised that they hardly ever mentioned their grandchildren. What did that say about them? Could it be that they were not interested in their offsprings’ offspring? Or maybe they hardly ever saw them? Perhaps they were much colder people than I had thought they were?

Then we became grandparents earlier this year and it was as if a secret ban had been lifted. The conversation these days is all about how wonderful/naughty/cute/funny/clever our grandchildren are. So now I think what it says about my old friends is that they are in fact warmer, more loving friends who care more about me than I ever knew! Now I find myself trying not to mention our new little grandaughter too much to other friends who do not have grandchildren yet, - you can learn a lot from good friends!

Granny Bloggings