Watch where you step...

Little Miss Independant

I am such a fool. I have totally wished away the last 10 months.

I'll admit it, I have felt somewhat inadequate since becoming a mummy due to the fact that I haven’t been filled with a ‘Sound Of Music’ style joy, revelling in my new found mummy status. No, that’s right folks, I haven’t been skipping through fields in bloom, flipping my dirndl (sp?) with one hand and swinging my picnic basket with the other, singing about the wonders of being at home with a baby all day long. I have spent the last few months saying “It’ll be easier once she can roll over/eat solids/nap properly/ sit unaided /crawl/stand/ walk/complete an open university course.”

And now she is crawling and I realise that I was wrong - for everyone of these milestones a new challenge comes along. What I wasn’t prepared for is the hard work involved in keeping her safe now that she is into everything, checking what scraps off the floor she is shoving in her mouth (such as ladybirds), and childproofing every door, shelf, cupboard and corner. Why didn't I make more of the last 10 months when she was a (cute) static blob?

I do, however, LOVE that she can now follow me from place to place, I love that she is Missy Independant (takes after her mother), and I love that she can find the cereal box cupboard and unpack every weetabix onto the floor. No I do, I love it *grits teeth*.

I even love that her favourite place in the house now is sitting on the inside of the dishwasher door. She stares at me with real glee every time on her face, "Look at me Mummy! I'm in the dishwasher" she seems to be saying, a dirty spoon clutched tightly in each hand and grubby, indeterminate food scraps stuck to her little derrière. Precious.

Love in a Larder Cupboard

So little CK has started crawling and I have just realised how slow I am these days. Obviously, over the festive season I spent quite a bit of time in the kitchen, little CK following me like Marys’ proverbial lamb. She spent hours playing with an empty syrup tin and enjoyed chowing down on a silicone baking tray. However, it seems that all that time she was in fact as alert as a wolf in a lambing shed. Whenever I thought she was completely absorbed in her tin or her tray and I tried to slip away into the larder, she achieved light speed and was in through the door at warp factor five. She would have her gums wrapped around an onion or an apple before you could say, “Nigella!”, Then she would sit back, clutching her contraband, and look up at me with a cheeky little grin on her adorable face. Of course I am a complete push-over and thought her capers cute in the extreme. That’s not to say that granny is a complete idiot and I can reach the high shelves so everything migrated upwards except for the fruit and plastic boxes – hah!

Granny Bloggins

Getting my Christmas Groove Back - Countdown to Christmas Day 15

In a desperate bid to invigorate and imbue myself with festive feeling, I decided to harness the power of music TV yesterday. Yes, I succumbed to a Christmas countdown. I wish I had the skills to V-log so that you could share in my amusement at CK's response. You see, she has learned to head bang.

I blame her father; he was much more of a mosher than me with his long hair (back in the day - I demand he keeps it above the nape at all times now) and his Rammstein tendencies. Perhaps it is in the genes - other children bob gently when they like the music but not my daughter, no, she thrashes her head up and down in time (or not, as the case maybe). So I have compiled my own Christmas Song top 5 based on the degree of neck strain my daughter put herself through as an indicator of audience appeal.

5. Boney M - Mary's Boy Child - Ick. I am going to say that my child liked this one because it sounds like something from CBeebies. I hope that is the reason and that I won't have a lifetime of hearing this kind of nonsense emanating from her bedroom. Heaven forbid.

4. Wham - Last Christmas - who could help but love this one? Especially when accompanied by the video, so we can see them romping around in the snow like a pair of dewy eyed young bucks frolicking in woodland glades. Oh George, what went so wrong?

3. Wizzard - I wish it could be Xmas every day - My child is clearly attracted to the 1970's glam thing, Slade and Wizzard both charting. Obviously my love of all things tacky has rubbed off already. Oops.

2. Mariah Carey - All I want for Xmas - Perhaps babies, like dogs and bats, can hear a higher register than the rest of us... how else would you explain Little CK's enjoyment of this one?

1. Slade - Merry Xmas Everybody - NB This would not be my number 1 choice of Xmas songs but clearly CK is less discerning and likes the look of these. I think they look questionable (was going to say "like a bunch of sex pests" but thought that might be libelous) but she seemed to think they were marvelous, giggling and nodding manically throughout.

A suspect list, but I console myself with the fact that when Sir Cliff was playing, she was more interested on a piece of fluff on the carpet.